Amanda

Kind Member
Posts
221
Reaction score
170
Hi all so much for deleting myself....I'm so fed up of feeling so down and rubbish I'm keeping a positive attitude for the kids and just keeping going but now I feel horrible inside I have a horrible feeling I've made the wrong descion about my relationship..... But we weren't getting on I have no motivation to achieve my goals I feel sad I've let myself go and piled 3 stone on I just want to feel myself again but Im far from that I'm dreading how much these scales are going to say how much I weigh I have had a really bad week
 

Catsmother

Confident Member
Posts
8,202
Reaction score
2,585
Sorry to heat that you're feeling down @Amanda I am glad that you haven't deleted yourself from here.

Was your relationship happy before you split with your partner?
 

Pig Hip

TMH Site Tech
Posts
627
Reaction score
648
In Palo Duro Canyon, near me in Texas, stands this tree. Impossible for it to be there, in rocks let alone survive. But it has and does, for decades. I visit it each time I'm there and it always renews my hope and inspiration, and I hope it does for you and others. I made a motivational meme out of my picture.

[Talk Mental Health.com] Hi


Think about the nobility in this.
 

Amanda

Kind Member
Posts
221
Reaction score
170
No it wasn't, we were when I was happy in myself, and when I was looking good, after that it has gone down hill I feel really low Im not even looking forward to things going back to normal as he will prob be going to the pubs and I'll be stuck in on my own I have no friends or family to spend time with
 

Amanda

Kind Member
Posts
221
Reaction score
170
So there for I've wrecked it because I'm not happy in myself and I'm not even trying to sort myself out plus summer is on its way I have over 3 stone to loose so it will be a rubbish summer holidays for me and the kids
 

Catsmother

Confident Member
Posts
8,202
Reaction score
2,585
No it wasn't, we were when I was happy in myself, and when I was looking good, after that it has gone down hill I feel really low Im not even looking forward to things going back to normal as he will prob be going to the pubs and I'll be stuck in on my own I have no friends or family to spend time with
I know that it is hard but try not to think what he will be doing. Make a life for yourself and the kids for now and when you feel ready maybe you will find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.
 

Amanda

Kind Member
Posts
221
Reaction score
170
Yeah maybe although I can't see that happening because I live in not a great area
 

Amanda

Kind Member
Posts
221
Reaction score
170
I've knowny to ex since we were kids he was my first love my first kiss we were best friends when we were kids then boyfriend and girlfriend through school everything thought we would end up together and we did later on now it feels so painful I had a dream we were kids again last night I woke up almost in tears
 

Amanda

Kind Member
Posts
221
Reaction score
170
Sorry I meant to say everybody also found out today that my son's eye test came back from school saying he needs glasses all the time and he hates glasses he's only 5
 

Pig Hip

TMH Site Tech
Posts
627
Reaction score
648
Sorry I meant to say everybody also found out today that my son's eye test came back from school saying he needs glasses all the time and he hates glasses he's only 5
Tell him how lucky he is - I lived severely nearsighted until I was 14! One of my teachers sent me home with a note saying my squinting all the time tipped her off. Vision tested 20/200 which is very blurry.
 

Amanda

Kind Member
Posts
221
Reaction score
170
Ok sorry I didn't mean to offend you this is why I don't like coming on these sites I'm coming of it now
 

Pig Hip

TMH Site Tech
Posts
627
Reaction score
648
The story of my glasses is, before them I could not see the blackboard clearly and had to squint. (No child knows his vision is bad, they think it's how everyone sees the world) Seating was alphabetical in classrooms so I was situated near the back of the room, always. I could only manage C+ grades and even had the school counselor telling me I should be doing much better based on the IQ and other tests he had administered on me. They were thinking about transferring me to what they called at the time, "Special Education." They were convinced I was antisocial because I was glaring all the time. Other kids always thought I was mad at them - I wasn't, I was only squinting to see who they were!

It was my English teacher, Mrs. Meador, who figured it out. She even seated me on the front row, so I could see. When i got my glasses it was astounding how the world now looked. I could see leaves in trees! I could easily read signs, blackboards, from what to me were great distances. My grades immediately skyrocketed and I was no longer squinting. That teacher saved me academically and socially. Every child on this earth who is given glasses should be quite grateful and consider themselves very lucky to have them very early in life. I struggled for 14 years without them.
 

PGen98

Giving Member
Posts
554
Reaction score
784
I understand how hard it is for kids to adapt to glasses, I was pretty young when I had to start wearing glasses full time. It's awkward and you feel like people are staring at you, but you get used to it and eventually it'll be as though he doesn't even remember he's wearing them :). Kids adapt very quickly!

As for you, personally, I can't help but reiterate when I said before. You're a beautiful person with an absolutely astounding personality. You will have no trouble whatsoever finding new friends, finding new people to have fun with, and I'm certain you will find that special someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. As Catsmother said, try not to focus on what he's doing with his life, or what he says, because everything I've read about him suggests he's a selfish person with selfish intentions. Focus on you, on building yourself a new life, a happy life, and you will get there! I'm sure of it! We're here with you every step of the way :)
 

Pig Hip

TMH Site Tech
Posts
627
Reaction score
648
Focus on you, on building yourself a new life, a happy life, and you will get there! I'm sure of it! We're here with you every step of the way
To this I can only add, our life in this world is finite. When we're young we think we'll live forever and have all the time in the world. And more often than not what happens is, suddenly we're knocking on the door of that big six-oh and realize we have far less time left than we've spent and wonder where the time went and why did I squander away so much of it on negativity, earlier in life.

Eschew it! Make it like a chapter in a book, that maybe wasn't all that great. Truncate it, go on to the next chapter where the blank pages are and write one great chapter after another. And empower yourself for happiness.
 

PGen98

Giving Member
Posts
554
Reaction score
784
To this I can only add, our life in this world is finite. When we're young we think we'll live forever and have all the time in the world. And more often than not what happens is, suddenly we're knocking on the door of that big six-oh and realize we have far less time left than we've spent and wonder where the time went and why did I squander away so much of it on negativity, earlier in life.

Eschew it! Make it like a chapter in a book, that maybe wasn't all that great. Truncate it, go on to the next chapter where the blank pages are and write one great chapter after another. And empower yourself for happiness.
That's a fantastic way to look at, I absolutely agree!
 

lavalamp

Community Assistant
Posts
751
Reaction score
509
Hi Amanda, the others have already given aome great advice. I just just add from my own recent experiences, it helped me to focus on my needs and not my ex's. It took a while to put into practice, but now I hardly think of him at all and I just feel apathetic about him. I honestly couldn't care less what he's doing.

Being with him was a chapter in my life but now its over and I've moved on.

The other thing that helped me is trying to focus on the present as much as possible. Have you done any mindfulness with your therapist?

Sending hugs.
 
Top Bottom