A few years ago, I was diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID), which was caused by childhood trauma. The first couple of years after my diagnosis were pretty challenging, both for me and my partner. The constant nightmares I was having at the time certainly didn't help the situation either. Being regularly woken up by nightmares and then having to deal with everything else going on made it much harder to manage stress and emotions.
During the early part of our same-sex relationship, I could switch quite dramatically depending on how overwhelmed or stressed I became. At times I could become extremely angry and behave in ways that were completely out of character for me, while at other times I could regress to behaving much more like a five-year-old. It was difficult to understand what was happening at the time, and I know it was difficult for my partner to deal with as well.
Things became serious enough that we had visits from a family police officer and an LGBT liaison officer for a period of time. Looking back, it was a pretty intense period of our lives.
Over the years, I've slowly learned better ways of dealing with stress and recognising when I'm becoming overwhelmed. Thankfully, I haven't experienced a switch like that for at least five years now, which is something I'm really proud of.
Oddly enough, there is a small part of me that sometimes misses switching. When it happened, I didn't have to consciously deal with whatever stress was going on because I wasn't really experiencing things in the same way. At the same time, I know that being in that state made everyday life incredibly difficult, and I certainly wouldn't have been sitting around happily posting on forums like I do now!
I also had some frustrating experiences trying to get help. There were several occasions when I went to hospital for a mental health assessment, only to be told to go home and get some sleep. At the time, that was incredibly frustrating because I was looking for someone to actually help me understand what was happening.
My experiences have definitely left me with mixed feelings about the mental health system in New Zealand. I know there are good people working within it, but there also seem to be significant gaps, particularly when people are struggling and need support before things reach crisis point.
I'm in a much more stable place now, but I still think about those experiences quite a bit. It's strange looking back at how much things have changed and realising that something which once controlled so much of my life is now something I have learned to manage.
Has anyone else experienced a major change in how they manage their mental health over the years? Or found that something that was once a major part of their life eventually became much easier to manage?
During the early part of our same-sex relationship, I could switch quite dramatically depending on how overwhelmed or stressed I became. At times I could become extremely angry and behave in ways that were completely out of character for me, while at other times I could regress to behaving much more like a five-year-old. It was difficult to understand what was happening at the time, and I know it was difficult for my partner to deal with as well.
Things became serious enough that we had visits from a family police officer and an LGBT liaison officer for a period of time. Looking back, it was a pretty intense period of our lives.
Over the years, I've slowly learned better ways of dealing with stress and recognising when I'm becoming overwhelmed. Thankfully, I haven't experienced a switch like that for at least five years now, which is something I'm really proud of.
Oddly enough, there is a small part of me that sometimes misses switching. When it happened, I didn't have to consciously deal with whatever stress was going on because I wasn't really experiencing things in the same way. At the same time, I know that being in that state made everyday life incredibly difficult, and I certainly wouldn't have been sitting around happily posting on forums like I do now!
I also had some frustrating experiences trying to get help. There were several occasions when I went to hospital for a mental health assessment, only to be told to go home and get some sleep. At the time, that was incredibly frustrating because I was looking for someone to actually help me understand what was happening.
My experiences have definitely left me with mixed feelings about the mental health system in New Zealand. I know there are good people working within it, but there also seem to be significant gaps, particularly when people are struggling and need support before things reach crisis point.
I'm in a much more stable place now, but I still think about those experiences quite a bit. It's strange looking back at how much things have changed and realising that something which once controlled so much of my life is now something I have learned to manage.
Has anyone else experienced a major change in how they manage their mental health over the years? Or found that something that was once a major part of their life eventually became much easier to manage?
