My poetry (pre-mental illness striking)

[willowtigger]

Haunted

I see you constantly in my sleep
Your face haunting my memory
Staring right into my soul
Knowing you're not here with me

You're always there waiting for me
Lurking deep in my subconscious mind
Waiting for me to fall asleep
Watching for a chance to appear

A new day dawns once again
Another day without you here
I'm wandering around in a daze
Not understanding you any more

I'm haunted by your face every night
Wishing I could forget you for now
Wanting to forget you're not here
You took my heart with you when you left

You left me all alone once more
This is something I can't forget
I can't forget your face
I can't forget what you did to me

I see you every night when I sleep
You're always there watching me
Never letting me forget you
Your presence is always there

I feel you there all the time
Lurking deep inside my soul
Physically you are long gone
But your presence will never leave

 

[willowtigger]

The Hourglass


I'm thinking of all the fun times
Running around laughing and joking
Together with you and our friends
Acting like a group of children
Playing in the winter snow

Flash forward to the spring
When the lambs are racing in the fields
When the spring flowers are peeping through the grass
I pick up the phone and call you
Asking you if you're up for more fun

Summer arrives and with it
Comes the warm nights in the moonlight
Partying until the early hours
Wanting it to never end
Hoping the fun lasts forever

Autumn comes round and with it
The quiet realisation it's nearly over
That soon it'll be time to curl up
Keep nice and warm by the fire
Knowing soon it'll be time for winter parties

 

[willowtigger]

Light in my Life

You're like the sun
Shining down on me
Brightening up my life
Making me see clearly

You're like the stars
Shining into my life
Lighting up the night
Keeping the dark at bay

You're like the wind
Blowing the dust away
Removing the dirt from my life
Making my life perfect

You're the light in my life
Brightening up my day
Making the nights less lonely
Just by being here with me

 

[willowtigger]

Please Don't Leave

What did I do to make you leave?
Why can't you stay with me?
Why did you say you loved me
When you didn't really care?

Did I do something wrong?
Why are you walking away?
Leaving me here all alone?
Please don't leave me like this

Please don't walk away from me
I need to know the answers
Please tell me if you can
Please don't leave me this way

"You'll find someone else" they say
But I don't think that's true
You're the one I really need
Please, I beg you, please don't leave

 

[willowtigger]

Untitled

I think of you
Every night and every day
Wishing you were here with me
Wishing you’d never gone away

I know I’ll never see your face again
Only in my dreams
What’s happened is really plain
You’ve gone away and won’t be back

I wish you’d come back to me
The cruel thing is I know you won’t
Please listen to this plea
Please tell me what happened

All I’ve got left now
Is a memory of what was and could have been
The what, why, when, where and how
What might have been if you’d only stayed

 

[willowtigger]

Black Walls

The black walls of depression
Close around me once again
Blocking out the sun
Causing another flood of pain

There's no light to be seen
Everything I know is going or gone
Love is only a distant memory
Although life has to go on

The darkness washes over me
Taking with it my light
It's a dark world now
Preventing me from feeling all right

The world doesn't feel right any more
It's fading away before my eyes
There's no way out of this mess
So I look up at the skies

The sun peeks through the clouds
Just for a moment pushing the blackness away
Bringing a light into the tunnel
Encouraging me not to stray

There's just a glimmer of hope
Something to focus on
Light at the end of the tunnel
It's always darkest before the dawn

 

[willowtigger]

Never Forget

I’ll never ever forget your face
The times we always shared together
You watching me, loving me forever
Waiting for a snuggle from me

I’ll never forget the good times
The times we shared together
We didn’t think we’d be parted
Not like this; you’re gone forever

I’ll never forget what I did
The way you supported me
You were a pillar of support
Then it was all taken away

Because of me, I lost you
I have to live with the memory
Of when I turned and left
Leaving you alone with strangers

 

[willowtigger]

Broken Angel

She’s a broken angel
Trapped on Earth
With nowhere to go

Not knowing freedom
Feeling like
No one cares

Trapped in her mind
She cries alone
Cold and scared

Everything she knows
Everything she loves
Seems to vanish

No one knows
How she feels
She gets ignored

Is no one there
To hear her cry
Is she invisible

No one understands
The way she feels
She’s crying alone

So take her hands
Comfort her
Show her love

Show you care
Someone wants her
We love her

 

[willowtigger]

Broken

What do I need to do
To make you care about me
To make you accept me
For who I am

What do I have to do
To make you remove this pain
To replace this hurt with love
Caring about my feelings again

Why can't things go back
To the way they were before
When you were in my arms
Cherished by me forever

How do I get your acceptance
Can we return back to that time
Before you ripped out my heart
Leaving me broken on the floor

 

[willowtigger]

Empty Place

There's an empty place in my heart
Where you used to be, curled up
Like it was your place in me
Forever taking care of me

There's an empty place on my bed
Where you used to sleep, curled round
Like nothing would ever remove you
Your place was here with me

There's an empty place in the garden
Where you used to run and play
Throwing yourself down in the sun
Chasing the butterflies around the place

There's an empty place in this house
Where you used to prowl round
You're gone forever, body and soul
Faded away like the sun behind clouds

 

[willowtigger]

Lost Love (ok this one seriously needs a better title)

Come back to me my love
Change the past just for me
Take me away from here please
Where the eagles spread their wings

Where the wind blows us higher
Sending us past the clouds
Pulling us round the stars
Then gently lowering us back to Earth

It’s a cold, hard truth
A cold, cruel world to live in
Now that we’re not together
Since we got torn apart

We lost each other that day
When we walked apart
Never to see each other again
Never to hold each other again

I wish we could hold each other
Just once more, never to part
But that can never be
We’ll be cold and lonely forever more

 

[willowtigger]

Lost

I had one chance to make it right
I blew it and walked away
Leaving him in pain
Lost in a world of misery

I’m locked in a world of suffering
Trapped in a world of pain
Never to see him again
He’s gone forever and I’m lost

I’ve lost my sweet love
The day I walked away
Everything’s gone and I have nothing
Happiness has faded never to return

 

[willowtigger]

(this one i writ when i was angry)

For The Ex (needs a title though)

I no longer care what you think of me
It doesn’t bother me, whether you’re alive or dead
I hope you’re dead so I can be free of you and your lies
I hope you feel the pain I felt when you left

I don’t love you any more, my love for you was broken
The day your lies were told; the day your love for me ended
I can do so much better than you – this I know
Why can’t you leave me alone?

A part of my love died when you left me
I was broken and crying on the floor
You never cared, just as long as you had Her
My feelings were of no importance

I hope you die and rot in hell for eternity
I hope life makes you feel the pain I felt
Do I really look like I care about you any more?
Why can’t you leave me alone like you did before?

I never want to see you any more, ever again
Turn around and leave me again like you did once
Walk away and never come back to me
I can’t stand you any more so go away and leave forever

 

[willowtigger]

Phoenix from the Ashes

I'm fighting against the blackness
Trying to find a way out
To rise like a phoenix from the ashes
Of this world around me

Life has given me some tough blows
But I hope to find a way
To rise again like the phoenix
Away from what life has given to me

I hope to find a way out
To rise again from the ashes
A phoenix from the ashes around me
I won't give up, I'll keep fighting

You'll help me find a way
To fight against the blackness
And rise triumphant like the phoenix
Ready to face the world again

 

[willowtigger]

Good Enough

You don't understand me any more
I tried my best for you
But my best is never good enough
Will I ever be good enough?

Am I always destined for this
To be a pawn in your cruel game
Always destined to take the blame
Caught like a fly in your web of hurt

Unable to escape the pain of betrayal
Seeing the world crash down around me
Fading away to nothing because of you
Lost in your lies I cry out my pain

Don't tell me you can't hear my cry
I thought we were friends forever
You promised me we'd always be friends
But I'm never good enough for you

 

[willowtigger]

Rejected

I remember seeing your sad eyes
Mourning your lost home
Remembering your old owner's lies
Pretending to you everything was okay

Lying to you about their love
Pretending they'd always keep you safe
Reality is they'd had enough
They left you broken and alone

Out you went alone into the world
Straight into the cold streets
Exiled from love, you cried out your grief
Curled round into a ball, lost in the memories

Sadly, they arrived too late
The people who could have saved you
You slipped away remembering sadness and hate
Rejected in the cold, lonely streets

 

[willowtigger]

Sorrow's Hold

I see the pain in your eyes
As you speak of the past
Remembering the good times we shared
Back when we were all together

We were a family back then
Before it all got ripped away
Back when life looked good
Before sorrow tore us apart

If only I could take away your pain
Hold you and comfort you
Make it all okay again like it was before
Back when we were all together

I see the sadness reflecting back
As I gently ask what's wrong
You answer "sorrow's got a hold"
I watch your tears fall as pain returns

 

[willowtigger]

Untitled

The sun shines down warmly
On this cold lonely place
A constant reminder of you
Reminding me of your warm embrace

You went away from me
Promising you'd come back
Betrayed, I cry out your name
Then the world fades to black

One look from you and I was lost
Dropped into a world of pain
Alone in a world of misery and despair
I'll never know what you hoped to gain

I suppose I'll have to accept it
The fact you only wanted to hurt me
That you wanted to break my heart
You were never honest you see

 

[willowtigger]

Nothing Left

Long ago you were in my heart
Then we drifted apart
There's nothing left to say
Nothing left to save anyway

My heart is dead now
You don't know how
Why should I tell you
When you spread your wings and flew

You left me alone in pain
With nothing to hope for or gain
Painful memories filling my head
Wishing I was with you instead

I'm afraid to love anyone again
Love is like a ball and chain
It just doesnt seem to last
I learned this the hard way in the past

 

[willowtigger]

Forever

So here I am again
Lost, broken and alone
Wishing we'd never met
Sitting by the phone

Feeling like a slimy slug
Always forgotten or hated
Never to be loved again
Forever hurt and slated

Curled up on the phone
Crying alone and afraid
Forever broken by you
Like a game I'm played

I can't believe you once loved me
Can't believe you once cared
But once you met her
I never compared

I don't believe in your love
You wouldn't care if I went
You'll never save me now
My time here is spent