Gender/Gender Identity-based Anxiety

[PGen98]

I recognize I'm posting this while likely being the lone trans person active on this forum, and that's absolutely fine, but I wanted to put this out there anyway.

Within the past couple of months I have had to go to the Emergency department 3 times, and indeed over the course of the last couple of years I have been a fairly regular number of times. Each time has gotten progressively harder for me as I find myself struggling to face people and explain my circumstances as a trans woman. It makes me fearful, it makes me want to avoid a lot of things in life, but particularly when I need medical care. I have general and social anxiety disorders as it is, but factoring in this growing fear because of having to explain myself and my gender identity every time is...horrible. I'm not sure I'm mentally strong enough to keep taking that hurt. I can't explain it, I've been targeted for being trans, hated for it, but to be picked apart by doctors and weighing in on how a male physique with female hormonal levels can affect x, y, z...it just crushes me. I didn't ask to be trans, no trans person actually wants to be trans, we'd give anything to be the women or men we are. I don't want to be a 6'1" monstrosity, but it's what I am. It makes me so horrifically ashamed each and every time I have to go to any kind of medical appointment, but in particular one where I need emergency care. My anxiety skyrockets and I'm shaking and upset. I hate it.

Guessing no, but -- anyone else get gender identity-based anxiety when dealing with situations where you have to basically dissect yourself to find an answer to a problem? How do you cope?

 

[JustSomeGuy]

So - I can't relate myself but I have several friends who deal with gender based anxiety. I have trans friends and non binary friends who struggle with this both personally and when dealing with professionals.

Now I can't speak to how they feel, I've listened, tried to feel for them as much as possible - but I'm not in their shoes.

Time and time again, they've wanted to give up explaining things, they wanted to give up feeling attacked, or correcting people on their pronouns. All of them are now in support groups for it, they say it helps, and gives them more reason to keep going - not just for themselves, but for others in the same situation.

The only way society has any possibility of correcting itself is by increasing awareness - and that's very uncomfortable to do.

...hope that helps in some way.

 

[PGen98]

Yeah, I'm in support groups, as well, and it is reassuring, but it doesn't change much when dealing with this kind of situation. I'm hoping in time I'll figure something out, because my medical history basically guarantees I'll be back again and again. Maybe I just need to accept the fact that each time I go I need to dissect every aspect of my being so they can figure things out.