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Trying to help others

TLDR: Trying to help others
The forum thread revolves around the complexities and consequences of offering help to others, particularly when the help is unrequested. Harry initiates the discussion by expressing frustration over being blamed for problems when trying to assist others, particularly those with special needs. He mentions that he has become reluctant to offer help unless explicitly asked due to negative experiences. Lunacie shares her perspective on the difficulty of both asking for and receiving help graciously, especially when the help is unsolicited. She emphasizes the importance of consent before helping. Butterfly88 brings up the emotional toll helping others can take, sharing a personal experience of feeling depressed after trying to assist a depressed friend. This prompts further discussion about the emotional risks involved in helping others, especially regarding mental health. WhippedCream warns about the potential risks of helping friends with mental health issues, suggesting that it can sometimes do more harm than good due to crossing personal boundaries. Nomad and Sincerem contribute by discussing their own experiences with helping others. Nomad is comfortable not receiving gratitude for his help, while Sincerem prefers to be in a position to offer help rather than receive it. Overall, the thread highlights a general agreement on the need for caution and consent when helping others, recognizing the potential emotional repercussions for both the helper and the recipient. There is a shared sentiment about the complexity of human interactions in contexts of aid and support.
Harry

Harry

Have you ever been in trouble after trying to help others ? It is something that has dreadful consequences. A lot of people associated with people with special conditions are negligent that someone has to step to help in time. But instead of being thankful, they act as if it is the person's fault that the whole problem happened.

It is because that if they put the blame on the poor guy who tried to help, it will be easier for them. But how cruel it is when someone with such a kind mindset find this an act of nobility turn back against them.
 
It's hard to admit we need help, and hard to accept the help gratefully. Especially when we haven't asked for the help. I'm trying to be grateful when someone in the store offers to reach an item for me that's on a higher shelf since I'm in an electric shopping cart. If they simple did it without asking first, I doubt if I could smile and say thanks.
 
I think this topic is very meaningful for me in some context. I have long stopped being kind to others, for reasons very valid. I am so glad I started this topic today. If you feel like god is around you and want to help, keep it to yourselves. Because alternative will not be kind on you. I was low because of some problems in the last 2 days and still chose not to show it to others. Well, I should learn to vent it.
 
For me it's a little different, I've in a way been in trouble with myself after helping others. Like for example, I tried to help a depressed friend and afterward I was depressed too.
 
Butterfly88 said:
for example, I tried to help a depressed friend and afterward I was depressed too.
Click to expand...

That is sad. Recently I try not to give help unless they ask for it. I hate being like that. Because I cannot stand another person's suffering. But you have no idea what I get in return. Beyond absurd by some people. It is ok to hit others, but with some level of decency.

I too need help, like everyone else. But some people do not qualify to receive an act of kindness. I know people with special requirements are not social enough. But decent enough ? Is that too much to ask ?
 
Thanks @Butterfly88

I was had too much in the last 2-3 days. It was things that will happen to an ordinary person. But it hurts when things does not go as we planned. I had to travel in all directions to fix it. And it still needs a lot of attention. I do not know how it will end up, but I am trying to do everything possible.
 
You've got to be careful trying to help people when they're struggling with mental health issues, especially friends. I know it might seem like it's productive but sometimes that familiarity makes you cross a line to easily. It's a risky situation to be in.
 
Harry said:
That is sad. Recently I try not to give help unless they ask for it. I hate being like that. Because I cannot stand another person's suffering. But you have no idea what I get in return. Beyond absurd by some people. It is ok to hit others, but with some level of decency.

I too need help, like everyone else. But some people do not qualify to receive an act of kindness. I know people with special requirements are not social enough. But decent enough ? Is that too much to ask ?
Click to expand...
I think in most cases it's okay to offer to help. But to just do something without asking first, or without being asked, could easily be the wrong thing at the wrong time.
 
I have tried to help a lot of people but I have not been into hot waters just for helping. However, many times I was not thanked for my generosity. That's totally fine with me though. I don't help people because I need to be thanked.
 
It feels bad when you experience mixed time especially when you seek help from a someone you expected to help out, and you weren't helped at the time you needed it most. We feel safe and happy, when we are helped by people during time of distress. I prefer being in a position of helping out, than people helping me all the time.
 
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