When They Say I Don't Believe in ADHD

[Ozzy47]

Incredible as it sounds, I still am amazed at how often I hear people say "I don't believe in ADHD." You probably have heard it too. And if you are like me, the moment those words come out of their mouth, every hair raises on the back of your neck, the fire starts to churn in the pit of your stomach and your mind feels like it is going to explode. No matter how many times it happens, no matter how many times I hear the words "I don't believe in ADHD" I am dumbfounded as to how it is even possible to live on this planet and doubt the reality of ADHD.

Not believe in ADHD? Not believe in ADHD??? Bear with me here... isn't that like saying you don't believe in the sun or the wind or the stars, or growing older... or love? We can't "touch" any of those things either, but we know they exist because we see evidence of them. The warmth and shadow of the sun, the movement from a strong breeze, the wrinkles appearing on our face, and the miraculous indescribable feeling of love. Do people not understand that believing that something is not real, doesn't make it not true? Not believing in ADHD doesn't make it not real.

Knowing what to say and do in these moments has taken years of understanding and practice which I am hoping to pass on to you here. First, it helps to understand that these people are CHOOSING not to believe in ADHD despite the evidence. Despite the percentages, studies or personal stories that support the existence of ADHD they really don't want to hear that. They really don't. In fact, I bet if you tried to share with them this logic, they will start answering back with "evidence" of their own. Second, don't go there. Keep away from the bait of getting hooked by their remarks into trying to defend the existence of ADHD. Remember, it takes two to have an argument. Instead, practice staying in the perspective of curiosity. Be curious about how "interesting" it is that they don't believe in ADHD in this day and age. It's almost impossible for someone to not be engaged when we are asking them about themselves. Learning this has spared me from wasting oodles of energy that I have then been able to use to make a difference in the very real lives of people with ADHD.

You see, most people who don't believe in ADHD either 1) probably have ADHD themselves and it's scary as all heck to take a look at that, 2) they know someone very close to them that has ADHD and it's scary as all heck to think that they or their loved one is anything like that person or 3) they have just landed on earth and are from another planet and are really confused. Being scared or confused doesn't allow someone to be open to learning or hearing the radical possibility that ADHD is real.

Instead try this:

Practice taking three deep breaths and then responding with:

"Really? What do you know about ADHD?" or
"Really? Who do you know that has ADHD? or

Stay away from convincing, advising or trying to get them to see your point of view. It will just be frustrating. Rather remain curious, about how in the heck they ever came to that conclusion (sorry, I couldn't help myself), works much better to open up the possibility for new ideas to emerge. Try it. You will be amazed at how often the "non-believers" are just like we were at one time. Trying to make sense of this ADHD thing. Scared, confused, unsure.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8758004

 

[Foxy]

Oh yeah, I've been told there's no such thing, it's just a convenient made up excuse why one is disorganized, a bad listener or too lazy to complete tasks. Wish they could walk a mile in my moccasins.

 

[Ozzy47]

I think that if people could take the time to see through the eyes and experiences of others, they would treat others differently, because they would then understand the struggles they face daily.

 

[willowtigger]

Its exactly the same with learning disabilities - "oh you must be stupid" no it is called a learning difficulties .............

 

[Swish]

Its exactly the same with learning disabilities - "oh you must be stupid" no it is called a learning difficulties .............

I do think that society are becoming more accepeting and inclusive to people with learning disabilities and cognitive impairments. Because society can see and empathise with those who are notably different to themselves, even if that empathy is condescending. However I believe it is the mental health side that is not understood currently. Mental health does seem to be a very common phrase used, especially where it should not be, although thats a different message. Mental health is yet to be understood as its a "hidden" disability, a disability in which people mask for so long and so well, its unbelievably confusing for people to see others they have loved or known for so long, go through something they cannot witness or understand.

So in summary, 'understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery'. J.K. Rowling, 2000.

 

[Lunacie]

I had a go-round with a nurse who didn't believe in adhd. She said I was using it as an excuse to be rude.
Fortunately she was retired at that time. And died a week ago.

 

[Swish]

Sadly thats the older generational view. I have discussions now with ex nurses who state the moon has the ability to force behaviours, hence why they are called "luna..tics". I said that would be a strong argument if we lived in Victorian times when they first coined the term and had people locked in mental asylums till as late as 1950's. There is no medical evidence to back this up but also it would make a cracking defence in court! The Moon made me do it!

Some, but not all ex healthcare professionals cannot keep up with the upwards trend of advancement and improvement.

 

[Ozzy47]

I wouldn’t doubt though that the moon can have an affect on our bodies and in turn the mind. The moon affects oceans and well we are mostly water, up to 60% of the human adult body is water. According to H.H. Mitchell, Journal of Biological Chemistry 158, the brain and heart are composed of 73% water, and the lungs are about 83% water. The skin contains 64% water, muscles and kidneys are 79%, and even the bones are watery: 31%.

 

[Deleted member 324]

The moon affects oceans

That's a gravitational constant unrelated to how much of the moon we see. Totally dark moon for example, is still pulling on the earth and causing high tide.

 

[Ozzy47]

I didn’t say you had to see it, I said I wouldn’t doubt it has an affect on us.

 

[Swish]

Whilst the Moon can effect human physiology in terms of hormones such as menstrual cycles, sadly there is little correlation in scientific review which regards the Moon with the ability to "mentally" effect us. Possibly to the extremes of criminal behaviour. I am not doubting that some individuals probably can have triggers surrounding the Moon, but only acting as a trigger source not as a cause of diagnosis of impairment.

It is no doubt an interesting subject, one of which I will research for personal use. I might keep it for my dissertation in the future.

 

[Deleted member 324]

I didn’t say you had to see it, I said I wouldn’t doubt it has an affect on us.

I wasn't disputing you. Most people think because the moon is "full" it is somehow bigger or closer. Seldom true. Sometimes during full moon cycle it is also high tide. I'm just pointing out the difference.

Johnny Carson had this debate with Ed McMahon over the course of a few shows back in the 70s to the point they finally had to book a dude from NASA to settle it. Fascinating stuff, the episodes aired on Antenna TV this past week. Was hilarious. Ed lost.

 

[Harry]

For good or bad, there are no such specific names for mental challenges in many of the countries. People say that he/she is either emotionally tired / not feeling well or being treated unfairly.

Does naming help? I do not know. It could be pharma companies creating new niche so that they can sell more. Or these names are there for a reason.

 

[Martee]

Oh yeah, I've been told there's no such thing, it's just a convenient made up excuse why one is disorganized, a bad listener or too lazy to complete tasks. Wish they could walk a mile in my moccasins.

Haha, I feel this to my core. I've been diagnosed and that's basically what I've been hearing for a large part of my life. Yes, I am truly just such a dysfunctional person, couldn't possibly be the condition that I've been diagnosed with by a Doctor, could it? I've 'calmed' down nowadays but when I was younger I was a bloody wild-child!

 

[Foxy]

It's not enough one has to shoulder the burden of the consequences of "bad wiring" in their heads, due to no fault of their own, which makes things harder than they should be, but then you have the knowledge that some people are unfairly judging you. When you have ADD or ADHD, you spend your whole life feeling inadequate because you're struggling to do what comes easily to others.

Knowing how I have struggled with ADD, I am in awe of what people with far more debilitating problems than ADD go through on a daily basis. I have come to the conclusion that people who manage to make it through life struggling every day are much stronger than the "normal" people they may envy. It takes amazing strength to keep on keeping on while fighting compulsions, deep depression, auditory and visual hallucinations, crippling phobias and the loneliness that comes with not being able to connect with or find a suitable life partner.

Most people are fortunate enough to run life's race unencumbered. Others run the same race with heavy weights shackled to their ankles. Those without the weights may cross the finish line first with lots of fanfare, but in truth, those who make it to the end having struggled every inch of the way are the ones who really deserve the cheers and recognition.

Others may not recognize the Lion heart in you and you may not even realize it yourself, but you are braver, stronger and more resilient than the average person. Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astair did, but she did it backwards and in high heels! Here's to all the "Ginger Rogers" in our community!

 

[Harry]

one has to shoulder the burden of the consequences of "bad wiring" in their heads, due to no fault of their own

It is horrible. To take the blame for things that are not intentional but induced

because you're struggling to do what comes easily to others.

And wonder what is wrong with me. If they can do, I should be able too

un the same race with heavy weights shackled to their ankles.

And they judge you

Others may not recognize the Lion heart in you and you may not even realize it yourself, but you are braver, stronger and more resilient than the average person.

:winner

 

[WhippedCream]

Ignorance about things like ADHD amongst others usually just stems from a lack of exposure to these sorts of things. You can't blame people for thinking that but at the same time they should hold themselves accountable and admit they were wrong when challenged on the views they have.