Trigger Warning Getting over my problems and the reason I am here.

Cazcat

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Never too sure how to go with this as my particular trouble doesn't happen too often or shouldn't happen too much if at all in the UK. In Australia though it happens a lot and usually by a stupid accident, more so that the federal government decided to act, but too late for me. However, I'm alive just but the fall out does still affect me still to this day.

I can be graphic or skirt past the details but maybe it is necessary for people to understand the complexities of what when on and the how why and where. I have 'usually found forums great places to discuss problems notably mums.net but never a dedicated forum for it. I hope to raise debate and see who can understand and relate to my problems and share a case study account from my perspective.

The trigger warning not sure if it appropriate but I will talk about some gory stuff which puts me into perspective, sorry in advance if you're eating your tea.
 

Catsmother

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I don't think I have ever been on mums.net.

Looking forward in reading :)
 

Cazcat

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Getting over my problem has been hard and traumatic.... And for many different reasons too. I can be bold and brazen but I can also be shy and sheepish but on many occasions I feel the need to hide my true problems to the world, much like everyone with a 'problem' so to speak.

For me it's not so much the incident that is the main problem but I do have a fear of someone doing harm to me, that's natural but I have woken up in cold sweats many times in fear to feel I am covered in blood once again.

The problem I have currently is I have a large scar about eighteen centimetres across my belly from surgery I had when I was fifteen actually I was in the operating room more times than I can remember. But it is now a bit of a problem.... People ask me what's that scar for as it's not appendix or a c-section and when they look very closely there is a small kind of round bit of skin that looks bloody odd.... What is that?

I will tell all....
 

Cazcat

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I don't know how much people know about Australia but during the 2000s their was concern about accidents with guns, not so much deaths but really stupid accidents and certainly ones that can be avoided. I am one such stupid statistic and definitely could have been avoided but I was stubborn and stupid and put myself and some friends in a position where dingoes were being culled. I was shot by accident as the guys doing the culling had hair triggers in order for them to have less movement in the rifle while lining up a shot and we startled them.... I only remember standing their and looking at the hole in my swimsuit (we were cutting across bushland to swim and hang out in a flooded open caste test pit). I remember saying, 'shit mums going to kill me' then waking up in hospital with my abdomen on fire and loads of people talking and bright lights.
 

Catsmother

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I think when you have been through trauma it is only natural that we're afraid that something bad is going to happen to us. Night sweats etc will be of course due to the trauma.

I am very sorry that you have been through all this. Have you had therapy for this?

Btw I have relatives in Australia :)
 

Nilla

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Wow, that sounds absolutely horrific. I'm so very sorry to hear that you went through such a situation. :( *hugs*

Like Catsmother said, it is natural to have this reaction. It is important that you know that you are safe and alive when you have these flashbacks. I have a lot of PTSD so I can understand where you are coming from because I sometimes have nightmares about what has happened to me in the past.

I wonder if you can try some deep breathing? Although if I were you, I would actually try meditation. The two go hand in hand. I do guided meditation. You can find a lot of it on YouTube. It helps me clear my mind and it helps me fall asleep. Sometimes I don't even finish it, I fall asleep in the middle of it. LOL

Anyway, I wish you luck and I do hope things get better for you. A professional could probably have better input than I do, but I just wanted to give you a suggestion. :)
 

Cazcat

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I think when you have been through trauma it is only natural that we're afraid that something bad is going to happen to us. Night sweats etc will be of course due to the trauma.

I am very sorry that you have been through all this. Have you had therapy for this?

Btw I have relatives in Australia :)
I have been through extensive therapy. It's the mental scars that prove hard to repair than the physical ones
 

Cazcat

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I think when you have been through trauma it is only natural that we're afraid that something bad is going to happen to us. Night sweats etc will be of course due to the trauma.

I am very sorry that you have been through all this. Have you had therapy for this?

Btw I have relatives in Australia :)

Wow, that sounds absolutely horrific. I'm so very sorry to hear that you went through such a situation. :( *hugs*

Like Catsmother said, it is natural to have this reaction. It is important that you know that you are safe and alive when you have these flashbacks. I have a lot of PTSD so I can understand where you are coming from because I sometimes have nightmares about what has happened to me in the past.

I wonder if you can try some deep breathing? Although if I were you, I would actually try meditation. The two go hand in hand. I do guided meditation. You can find a lot of it on YouTube. It helps me clear my mind and it helps me fall asleep. Sometimes I don't even finish it, I fall asleep in the middle of it. LOL

Anyway, I wish you luck and I do hope things get better for you. A professional could probably have better input than I do, but I just wanted to give you a suggestion. :)
I have been given a number of Strategies and sport is one thing I was told to take up, deep breathing and changing my though pattern, I'm much better now but still have the odd moment which can be horrible.
 

Cazcat

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Okay, ready for the graphic part.... ? maybe not too graphic but as the bullet entered me it broke up into three pieces, one large chunk travelled up through my stomach and came to a halt about two centimetres from my liver, the other two, one drove down into my intestines and the other just lodged in my stomach lining.... Ouch. The problem as the pieces of metal went through me they started to break up and spin creating a lot of damage and shedding shavings inside me.

I woke up in hospital very sedated and feeling awful. It took many trips to surgery and scanning to get every last peice and sow everything up but the real agony was just starting. The trauma of what happened and what could have happened was a lot to take on at such a young age.
 

Foxy

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I am thanking God for His intervention on your behalf. From the sound of it, you being alive today is nothing short of a miracle. I've had some near death experiences so I can appreciate what you've been through.

Here's something I do when I start to stress over something - I tell myself I might as well use that time to pray about it. Better to dwell on the positives rather than the negatives since I'm thinking about it anyway. Before I know it, the worries subside and are replaced with a sense of peace.
 
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