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Anxiety

hello all, hope everyone is well i suffer with anxiety, and im in a difficult situation. I found out my expartner was unfaithful to me in the lockdown, he wants to sort things out, and even go to relationship councilling but im unsure, as for me the trust has gone, if anyone could please advice me id apprecaite it, thankyou
 
hello all, hope everyone is well i suffer with anxiety, and im in a difficult situation. I found out my expartner was unfaithful to me in the lockdown, he wants to sort things out, and even go to relationship councilling but im unsure, as for me the trust has gone, if anyone could please advice me id apprecaite it, thankyou
I don't think you want to hear this, i am not one for going to counseling, they got caught . Sorry, they should have thought of that before hand. If the trust is gone like you said, than move on to a better life and you will find someone that respect you. If you stay with them your anxiety will get worst bc you don't know if it will happen again. Don't stay in something to please the other person bc that is what is going to happen, You are a strong person or you wouldn't be asking, you can ask someone else if you want, I wouldn't put up with it and no one should i wish you the best.
 
I agree with @diane15

Also if you feel like you are not able to trust him again then you're best to move on. Personally I would not forgive a partner who cheated on me.
 
Thankyou for you imput, I appreciate your honesty. I know im not to blame but after xmas i took him back and said it was the last time if he ever did it again tha would be it but i used to let him stay out every weekend after i said that, so was i asking for it? one friend said I was. Because I felt lie i couldnt rust him etc, i quit my job although i didnt like my job or enjoy it i gave up on my fitness and i wasnt happy so im sure i oushed him away but now idont fell like i have the strength again its happened 7 times in 11 years. Im 34 now and im honestly scared of moving on
 
I'm also very worried of him moving on with someone else, he said hes relized what hes done and how hes hurt me, and would never do it again. Im worried he will change and make someone happy, and ill regret it for life, i wish i could go back and tried harder after xmas
 
Thankyou for you imput, I appreciate your honesty. I know im not to blame but after xmas i took him back and said it was the last time if he ever did it again tha would be it but i used to let him stay out every weekend after i said that, so was i asking for it? one friend said I was. Because I felt lie i couldnt rust him etc, i quit my job although i didnt like my job or enjoy it i gave up on my fitness and i wasnt happy so im sure i oushed him away but now idont fell like i have the strength again its happened 7 times in 11 years. Im 34 now and im honestly scared of moving on
He's cheated on you 7 times? what makes you think he won't do it again?
Once is bad enough but 7 times is really out of order, If you take him back again then he knows you will forgive him then he will do it again.
 
Know idea what to do he says he wants to just be happy with me and the kids but i have doubts not just about that but other things too
 
He's cheated on you 7 times? what makes you think he won't do it again?
Once is bad enough but 7 times is really out of order, If you take him back again then he knows you will forgive him then he will do it again.
I know and it doesnt help that the girl only lives around the corner a five minute walk away, ive also gained 3 stone through stress because of it i cant seem to get any motivation to loose it right now. I have started my english gcse and i have started a cleaning job but i have all this in the back of my mind, i miss being happy and close with him and when we are happy and im felling good in yself and we are close he doesnt do it
 
I know and it doesnt help that the girl only lives around the corner a five minute walk away, ive also gained 3 stone through stress because of it i cant seem to get any motivation to loose it right now. I have started my english gcse and i have started a cleaning job but i have all this in the back of my mind, i miss being happy and close with him and when we are happy and im felling good in yself and we are close he doesnt do it
I am not at all surprised that you're stressed :(
If he really loved you then he wouldn't cheat on you, sorry of that is harsh but it's also the truth.
 
whats
I know and it doesnt help that the girl only lives around the corner a five minute walk away, ive also gained 3 stone through stress because of it i cant seem to get any motivation to loose it right now. I have started my english gcse and i have started a cleaning job but i have all this in the back of my mind, i miss being happy and close with him and when we are happy and im felling good in yself and we are close he doesnt do it
whats stopping me from moving on is that i didnt try hard enough to make it work after xmas, i felt unsure what i wanted and i felt like i couldnt trust him so i didnt put my effot into it if i did then i would of moved on. he slept with this girl before xmas we werent togther tho its the same girl he cheated on me with 5 years ago, too. i just thought the whole time he was going to cheat on me with her now hes saying he will change and just wants to settle down and he might hes had his own flat now for 5 months before i used to just take him back but weve been split fo 5 months now he wants to make it work more than what i do
 
whats

whats stopping me from moving on is that i didnt try hard enough to make it work after xmas, i felt unsure what i wanted and i felt like i couldnt trust him so i didnt put my effot into it if i did then i would of moved on. he slept with this girl before xmas we werent togther tho its the same girl he cheated on me with 5 years ago, too. i just thought the whole time he was going to cheat on me with her now hes saying he will change and just wants to settle down and he might hes had his own flat now for 5 months before i used to just take him back but weve been split fo 5 months now he wants to make it work more than what i do
Do you think he has or will change?
 
This is a tough one. Never cheated on nor been cheated on so hard to relate. But I can relate to the trust issues. If he's cheated on you that many times, sorry, but he is NOT worth your time.
You don't have to forget. That is how we learn things. Forgiveness will come at a later time. If your friends can't see that you are hurting, maybe rethink if they are your friends. Friends are there for you thru the good times AND the bad.
 
yesh i do and friends talk to me about it as if its nothing and just expect me to be happy and forget the past
I haven't been on in a while, i will be plane out and to the point without being bossy, He cheated, he doesn't deserve you at all, and if he says he wants you back, tough, you play you pay. No you don't have to be happy, none of these things are ever good. It is time for you to enjoy life as you want it. Usually people who cheat will do it again. There is a reason his wronging. I don't know them, sometimes it is an ego problem, sometimes to get back to the other person and i don't mean you. You don't settle for less, it is almost like mentally playing with you and that right there is an illness. YOu don't need that. Don't use food as an outlet you will regret it. You don't have to forgive this person because you won't forget what happen. You are not alone with these types of decisions, the right one will come along, Don't go back to him/her they aren't worth your time or space. I hope this helped , i don't sugar coat relationships at all. i had a share of my own.
 
hello all, hope everyone is well i suffer with anxiety, and im in a difficult situation. I found out my expartner was unfaithful to me in the lockdown, he wants to sort things out, and even go to relationship councilling but im unsure, as for me the trust has gone, if anyone could please advice me id apprecaite it, thankyou

Don’t put up with a cheating partner. If they’ve done it once, they’ll do it again. Get out of there!
 
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