It used to be depression and severe anxiety. But I finally got medication that works and regulates my emotions. So now I feel happy everyday and when I do feel emotions, I express it in a more healthy way than before.
I'm so sorry. I miss my grandmother, too. You know your mother is always with you and she wants you to be happy. I know that may not seem like much comfort and perhaps a lot of people have already told you. But it's true.