I am in a more stable position when it comes to my gender dysphoria. While I have long accepted that dysphoria isn't going to be something that will ever have a cure... it will be something that I must always strive to maintain and treat for the benefit of my own sanity. Through my exploration of myself I have come to realize that perhaps association with societal labels such as "transgender" or the shorten "trans" do not define who I am and the reasons for this being that they are triggers for dysphoric feelings. The terminology once used to describe people like me who have long felt as if they should have been born someone else has now evolved into an umbrella terms for those who identify outside of the gender binary, a word for those within the greater gender non-confirming, non-binary, world. These terms no longer feel applicable to me or my situation as I identify along the binary. Gender, including identity and expression, is merely a means to treat on-going permanent dysphoria. The more I reflect the more I come to the realization that what used to trigger such dysphoric feelings in me hold no weight due to the realization that cisgender women and transgender women form a symbiote circle. Similar to the Gungans and the Naboo from Star Wars for a more humorous comparison.
The anti-transgender rhetoric, movement, and laws which target the liberties of transgender individuals often end up targeting those who are cisgendered women. Mostly due to the expectations of what a woman is suppose to look and act like which is reflected back onto the transgender women. The concept of "passing" serves as such prominent example and one for which I used to concern myself with regularly. Why should I though? I'd only be playing into the hands of those, mostly men, who have tried to dictate and enforce their expectations of what womanhood should be. It's truly a liberating realization, but not a cure for gender dysphoria. For you see, at least in my case, my on-going permanent dysphoria seem to stem at the cage for which we're all born into at birth. The cage of biology. Numerous times I have felt depression because I wasn't born female. I will always have that male rip cage which makes my breasts sometimes unnoticable, especially underneath baggy clothing. I will still never have a menstrual cycle or a reproduction system which allows me to carry my own lifeform inside of me. Yet people insist that I am lucky for not experiencing those things. If given the option to fully re-write my biology at birth and still retain who I am as a person then I would absolutely take the opportunity. Because I'd would prefer to deal with the societal problems women face without having to deal with the worries that come with being a woman who was designated male at birth. Even if that means having to deal with the biological discomforts and pain that comes with being a biological woman. Which would only benefit in providing a sense of completion, as if I am fully aligned in all possible ways.
Alas that is not possible. What could potentially be the only true cure to my dysphoria is always centuries away if even that. Perhaps there will never be such a cure, but that doesn't refrain me continuing onward. For I know the reality is that I am a woman, well, girl due to my feeling of being immature for my age, who just happened to be designated male at birth. The experiences and accounts of (cis) women who are unable to have a menstrual cycle or are infertile for a variety of different reasons, usually medical, and seeing how they were able to move on to define who they are in this world continues to serve as a source of inspiration for myself. That matters concerning both groups are really matters which solely belong to women. Which such realizations come a new sense of strength, reassurance, and validation that I am a woman and I have pride in my identity as a woman.
The anti-transgender rhetoric, movement, and laws which target the liberties of transgender individuals often end up targeting those who are cisgendered women. Mostly due to the expectations of what a woman is suppose to look and act like which is reflected back onto the transgender women. The concept of "passing" serves as such prominent example and one for which I used to concern myself with regularly. Why should I though? I'd only be playing into the hands of those, mostly men, who have tried to dictate and enforce their expectations of what womanhood should be. It's truly a liberating realization, but not a cure for gender dysphoria. For you see, at least in my case, my on-going permanent dysphoria seem to stem at the cage for which we're all born into at birth. The cage of biology. Numerous times I have felt depression because I wasn't born female. I will always have that male rip cage which makes my breasts sometimes unnoticable, especially underneath baggy clothing. I will still never have a menstrual cycle or a reproduction system which allows me to carry my own lifeform inside of me. Yet people insist that I am lucky for not experiencing those things. If given the option to fully re-write my biology at birth and still retain who I am as a person then I would absolutely take the opportunity. Because I'd would prefer to deal with the societal problems women face without having to deal with the worries that come with being a woman who was designated male at birth. Even if that means having to deal with the biological discomforts and pain that comes with being a biological woman. Which would only benefit in providing a sense of completion, as if I am fully aligned in all possible ways.
Alas that is not possible. What could potentially be the only true cure to my dysphoria is always centuries away if even that. Perhaps there will never be such a cure, but that doesn't refrain me continuing onward. For I know the reality is that I am a woman, well, girl due to my feeling of being immature for my age, who just happened to be designated male at birth. The experiences and accounts of (cis) women who are unable to have a menstrual cycle or are infertile for a variety of different reasons, usually medical, and seeing how they were able to move on to define who they are in this world continues to serve as a source of inspiration for myself. That matters concerning both groups are really matters which solely belong to women. Which such realizations come a new sense of strength, reassurance, and validation that I am a woman and I have pride in my identity as a woman.
