There are over five hundred different types of psychotherapy/counselling available. So how can you know which one might help you? Do they all work in the same way or are some better than others? Do any of them actually work?
You might also wonder how counselling works and if it would be a useful experience for you. Would a counsellor see into your soul, read your mind, and tell you how to sort out all your problems? Or maybe you think they will help find who is to blame for your problems? How do you pick a counsellor?
Another big concern is how long therapy can take (and how much will it cost). Many approaches seem resigned to years, or even decades, of regular visits. Some, on the other hand, will be time-limited and promise results in a matter of weeks.
So we have a few questions lined up here and I guess you would like some answers?
Do any of these methods of counselling work?
The simple answer is - No.
No method will work 'out of the box'. If any one method did work then there would be no need for all the others - we'd all use that one - that's natural selection; if not common sense. So what's the deal?
Well, these various methods actually form supporting frameworks for the counsellor/therapist - nothing to do with clients, I'm afraid. These frameworks are important to guide the therapist and allow therapy to happen but they should never need to become part of the therapeutic process. In an ideal world you should be quite unaware of the method being used so don't get too hung up this.
How do you pick a counsellor?
Without worrying too much about the style of counselling we can concentrate on how we relate to our counsellor. There are perhaps two important considerations; Firstly you need to feel that you can be comfortable talking to your counsellor. If you find them too scary, overbearing, too delicate, too creepy, or too shy, or too much like someone you cannot abide then it might be better to keep looking. You are not seeking a friend or an enemy but a competent companion for a potentially difficult journey.
The second consideration is to do with trust. At some point in the counselling relationship you will need to trust your therapist with your innermost thoughts and feelings. This is pretty hard to judge at a first meeting but most people will instantly recognise someone they will never be able to trust fully. Go with your gut instinct on this. As long as you can imagine a time when you might be able to trust your counsellor then that should be enough. If not - keep looking.
So how does the therapeutic process work?
When you go to a doctor with some illness they will consider the symptoms, deliver a technical explanation - often given an impressive sounding Latin name - and prescribe some medicine. They are the expert, knowing more about your body and illnesses than you do and they control access to the drugs which will cure you. It is a simple and comforting model. There is a pill for everything and a doctor for all maladies so we don't have to worry.
It is very tempting to treat therapists the same way as if they are doctors; experts, who will listen to our psychological symptoms, name them and fix us. This concept is doomed to failure and totally inappropriate. You are the only expert on you. Therapists can help us to get to the right place but not make us change.
When you try to talk about your problems with friends or family you may notice a strong tendency for them to respond by relating similar experiences of their own. This is a way of saying 'it's OK, you are not alone. I have felt the same way'. It is intended to be reassuring and for some of us, for some of the time maybe it is. At the same time it takes attention away from your concerns and seems to say 'it's nothing special, or unusual. It's time to move on'.
In a counselling relationship things will be very different. Your therapist will be trying to understand your experience of the world; not engaging in conversation. It is a chance for you to pause and look deeper into situations; something which rarely happens in the rest of our busy lives.
We all have some degree of internal narrative. Excerpts from our life experiences; rules and response we habitually refer to. These are often barely noticed, half understood but plausible ideas floating around in our heads. Usually this is where they stay and their influence remains unchallenged. In therapy we get a chance to bring those thoughts to life by speaking them. This has a dramatic impact as they suddenly become far more accessible. We can pin them down, analyse them, think about them rationally; even question them. This is the core work in therapy and generates improved self-understanding which, in turn, can lead to beneficial change.
However hard we try we cannot actually change the world we live in very much so at some point we have to come to terms with it as it is. Many personal issues arise because we do not accept the world and worse, are not even aware that this is happening. Self-awareness from therapy will bring light into these areas and allow us to rethink our approach and the way we react. Self-knowledge is power - the power to change.
How long will therapy take?
We are all different with different issues and can expect to need different amounts of therapy; but it is not predictable. Therapy is ongoing, the work in the sessions continues in the outside world between meetings. Some weeks there will be a feeling of great progress and others we will feel blocked and stuck. It is important to recognise that progress sticks. Once you have gained some personal insight, a new glimmer of self-understanding, then you will not lose that knowledge by ending therapy. It is a gift you get to keep. You may also find that your original agenda expands so therapy becomes an open-ended process. Nobody is ever actually 'finished' and you can decide how far you want to go and when you want to stop.
You will never leave therapy empty-handed and you will always be able to find some reason to return.
There are further notes on counselling styles at Counselling at Mid-Herts.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8969600
You might also wonder how counselling works and if it would be a useful experience for you. Would a counsellor see into your soul, read your mind, and tell you how to sort out all your problems? Or maybe you think they will help find who is to blame for your problems? How do you pick a counsellor?
Another big concern is how long therapy can take (and how much will it cost). Many approaches seem resigned to years, or even decades, of regular visits. Some, on the other hand, will be time-limited and promise results in a matter of weeks.
So we have a few questions lined up here and I guess you would like some answers?
Do any of these methods of counselling work?
The simple answer is - No.
No method will work 'out of the box'. If any one method did work then there would be no need for all the others - we'd all use that one - that's natural selection; if not common sense. So what's the deal?
Well, these various methods actually form supporting frameworks for the counsellor/therapist - nothing to do with clients, I'm afraid. These frameworks are important to guide the therapist and allow therapy to happen but they should never need to become part of the therapeutic process. In an ideal world you should be quite unaware of the method being used so don't get too hung up this.
How do you pick a counsellor?
Without worrying too much about the style of counselling we can concentrate on how we relate to our counsellor. There are perhaps two important considerations; Firstly you need to feel that you can be comfortable talking to your counsellor. If you find them too scary, overbearing, too delicate, too creepy, or too shy, or too much like someone you cannot abide then it might be better to keep looking. You are not seeking a friend or an enemy but a competent companion for a potentially difficult journey.
The second consideration is to do with trust. At some point in the counselling relationship you will need to trust your therapist with your innermost thoughts and feelings. This is pretty hard to judge at a first meeting but most people will instantly recognise someone they will never be able to trust fully. Go with your gut instinct on this. As long as you can imagine a time when you might be able to trust your counsellor then that should be enough. If not - keep looking.
So how does the therapeutic process work?
When you go to a doctor with some illness they will consider the symptoms, deliver a technical explanation - often given an impressive sounding Latin name - and prescribe some medicine. They are the expert, knowing more about your body and illnesses than you do and they control access to the drugs which will cure you. It is a simple and comforting model. There is a pill for everything and a doctor for all maladies so we don't have to worry.
It is very tempting to treat therapists the same way as if they are doctors; experts, who will listen to our psychological symptoms, name them and fix us. This concept is doomed to failure and totally inappropriate. You are the only expert on you. Therapists can help us to get to the right place but not make us change.
When you try to talk about your problems with friends or family you may notice a strong tendency for them to respond by relating similar experiences of their own. This is a way of saying 'it's OK, you are not alone. I have felt the same way'. It is intended to be reassuring and for some of us, for some of the time maybe it is. At the same time it takes attention away from your concerns and seems to say 'it's nothing special, or unusual. It's time to move on'.
In a counselling relationship things will be very different. Your therapist will be trying to understand your experience of the world; not engaging in conversation. It is a chance for you to pause and look deeper into situations; something which rarely happens in the rest of our busy lives.
We all have some degree of internal narrative. Excerpts from our life experiences; rules and response we habitually refer to. These are often barely noticed, half understood but plausible ideas floating around in our heads. Usually this is where they stay and their influence remains unchallenged. In therapy we get a chance to bring those thoughts to life by speaking them. This has a dramatic impact as they suddenly become far more accessible. We can pin them down, analyse them, think about them rationally; even question them. This is the core work in therapy and generates improved self-understanding which, in turn, can lead to beneficial change.
However hard we try we cannot actually change the world we live in very much so at some point we have to come to terms with it as it is. Many personal issues arise because we do not accept the world and worse, are not even aware that this is happening. Self-awareness from therapy will bring light into these areas and allow us to rethink our approach and the way we react. Self-knowledge is power - the power to change.
How long will therapy take?
We are all different with different issues and can expect to need different amounts of therapy; but it is not predictable. Therapy is ongoing, the work in the sessions continues in the outside world between meetings. Some weeks there will be a feeling of great progress and others we will feel blocked and stuck. It is important to recognise that progress sticks. Once you have gained some personal insight, a new glimmer of self-understanding, then you will not lose that knowledge by ending therapy. It is a gift you get to keep. You may also find that your original agenda expands so therapy becomes an open-ended process. Nobody is ever actually 'finished' and you can decide how far you want to go and when you want to stop.
You will never leave therapy empty-handed and you will always be able to find some reason to return.
There are further notes on counselling styles at Counselling at Mid-Herts.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8969600