I Am Very Worried About My Friend.

Catsmother

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Hi everyone :)

Very rare I post about myself but I have just been talking to a friend of mine and she has me really worried.

I know that she is neglecting herself and sometimes goes days without eating, not because she wants to it's because she doesn't have the money to buy food.

Her husband is selfish if I am being honest, When they go shopping all the food is for him so she goes without. I think it's abuse. She has no confidence and thinks she isn't worth it. I wish there was something that I could do to help her but I am barely managing myself.

I feel sad that she thinks so little of herself :(
 

Eagleheart

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I think it's lovely that you care so much. Your friend is very lucky to have a friend like you. You probably don't realise how much your support means to her. I'm so glad she has you on her side.
 

PGen98

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I agree with Eagleheart, I'm sure that your caring for her means the absolute world to her at this point. What you're describing definitely sounds like a form of abuse or self-inflicted suffering. I hope that she realizes this, and that she deserves to be happy as much as anyone. A relationship is a partnership, and equal give and take. If he is doing all of the taking, then that is not a partnership and she should seek out something better for herself. A "real man" (if I can steal a trope for a minute) would not allow his wife to suffer to satisfy his own greed.

I feel for your friend, and I feel for you as well, it seems like a no-win scenario at present. I hope that she realizes this, or that he does, and that they can sort themselves out, or that she finds herself someone better, because that is not good for her.
 

safeinsanity

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Sometimes people choose to be with the wrong person and everybody knows it but them. Unfortunately they will have to learn it for themselves and there is nothing anyone can say or do to make them change their minds about the person they choose to be with. The only thing you could do to help is invite her over for dinner, or take her out for lunch occasionally.
 

Catsmother

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I agree with Eagleheart, I'm sure that your caring for her means the absolute world to her at this point. What you're describing definitely sounds like a form of abuse or self-inflicted suffering. I hope that she realizes this, and that she deserves to be happy as much as anyone. A relationship is a partnership, and equal give and take. If he is doing all of the taking, then that is not a partnership and she should seek out something better for herself. A "real man" (if I can steal a trope for a minute) would not allow his wife to suffer to satisfy his own greed.

I feel for your friend, and I feel for you as well, it seems like a no-win scenario at present. I hope that she realizes this, or that he does, and that they can sort themselves out, or that she finds herself someone better, because that is not good for her.
Sorry @PGen98 I didn't see your reply till now.

I agree, Since I posted this she has had a talk with her husband who didn't realise that he was buying all the food for him, so he took her to get shopping in just for her. I just hope that he keeps it up.
 

Catsmother

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Sometimes people choose to be with the wrong person and everybody knows it but them. Unfortunately they will have to learn it for themselves and there is nothing anyone can say or do to make them change their minds about the person they choose to be with. The only thing you could do to help is invite her over for dinner, or take her out for lunch occasionally.
Agreed @safeinsanity

Sad but true :(
 

PGen98

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Sorry @PGen98 I didn't see your reply till now.

I agree, Since I posted this she has had a talk with her husband who didn't realise that he was buying all the food for him, so he took her to get shopping in just for her. I just hope that he keeps it up.
No worries at all :)

I'm glad he did that, but agreed, he needs to make sure to keep on doing that. It's his wife, after all, the person he's supposed to care for the most!
 

Cazcat

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Hi everyone :)

Very rare I post about myself but I have just been talking to a friend of mine and she has me really worried.

I know that she is neglecting herself and sometimes goes days without eating, not because she wants to it's because she doesn't have the money to buy food.

Her husband is selfish if I am being honest, When they go shopping all the food is for him so she goes without. I think it's abuse. She has no confidence and thinks she isn't worth it. I wish there was something that I could do to help her but I am barely managing myself.

I feel sad that she thinks so little of herself :(
This is a version of abuse, a spouse has an obligation to care for their partner, wedding vowels are there for a reason. I would strongly suggest getting in contact with https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ or even https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse food is a basic human right!!! This man is abusing her and denying her sustenance, would also be worth while seeing the GP who can sign post to more tailored support. If there're any signs of physical abuse then a chat with the Police non emergency would be beneficial or any domestic abuse help line as is any mental abuse. But this needs to be dealt with.... Any reason the husband is doing this?
 

Catsmother

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This is a version of abuse, a spouse has an obligation to care for their partner, wedding vowels are there for a reason. I would strongly suggest getting in contact with https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ or even https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse food is a basic human right!!! This man is abusing her and denying her sustenance, would also be worth while seeing the GP who can sign post to more tailored support. If there're any signs of physical abuse then a chat with the Police non emergency would be beneficial or any domestic abuse help line as is any mental abuse. But this needs to be dealt with.... Any reason the husband is doing this?
I think he has always been selfish and self centered, she puts her husband and cats before anything.
 

willowtigger

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i hope she gets away from him if he is abusing her :hugs:

your a amazing friend to her, Catsmother :hugs:
 
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