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Gender How Would You Approach Talking to Closed Minded Family Members About Gender Issues?

PGen98

Administrator
If you had to approach talking to family members who were a bit old school in their line of thinking and they didn't accept anything outside of "the norm" when it comes to gender and body issues and would likely be furious to find out that you fell outside of said norm, how would you go about broaching the subject with them, knowing full well it was likely going to go badly?

Would you try to ignore the subject for as long as possible? Would you go in, full tirade, trying to make them understand? What would your approach be?
 
Talking strictly from a first person standpoint not knowing if this is firsthand or not, only you can know how to do this approach - if it is your own family then you know them. But try not to prejudge them so harshly - for you are now guilty of the very same thing you're predicting them to do/say/think. It's the pygmalion effect, the self fulfilling prophesy.

It is what it is and should be dealt with honestly and straightforwardly. Give them the chance to see it for what it is and judge for themselves, and don't hold their judgement against them especially their first blush. Things might be a shock to them at first but they are family and they love you and acceptance will be gained over time if not right away.

Judge not, lest ye be judged.
 
Talking strictly from a first person standpoint not knowing if this is firsthand or not, only you can know how to do this approach - if it is your own family then you know them. But try not to prejudge them so harshly - for you are now guilty of the very same thing you're predicting them to do/say/think. It's the pygmalion effect, the self fulfilling prophesy.

It is what it is and should be dealt with honestly and straightforwardly. Give them the chance to see it for what it is and judge for themselves, and don't hold their judgement against them especially their first blush. Things might be a shock to them at first but they are family and they love you and acceptance will be gained over time if not right away.

Judge not, lest ye be judged.
You make a valid point, I am doing a disservice to them by saying outright that they'll not accept anything. That's true. I know their viewpoints on this issue, so it's a easy to make the conclusion that they won't support it, but assuming without confirming is a disservice. Best to just go in and see.
 
You make a valid point, I am doing a disservice to them by saying outright that they'll not accept anything. That's true. I know their viewpoints on this issue, so it's a easy to make the conclusion that they won't support it, but assuming without confirming is a disservice. Best to just go in and see.
You're confirming this is first person? Makes no difference to me, but it does help discussion if we're not "asking for a friend."

Congrats for coming out, I know it's extremely difficult.
 
BTW I'm agnostic on the whole orientation/gender thing. Gay and Trans people aren't hurting me or anyone else. Got no problem with them. Live and let live.
 
Tell them when they are not rushing around, so they have time to process what you are telling them :hugs:

Whatever happens, you'll always have us though :hugs:
🤗
I think Ozzy, PigHip and Willowtigger have given some really good advice.

You simply don't know at the moment how they will respond and there is only one way to find out.

You also need to able to live your life on your own terms and to be as happy as possible.

Sending hugs.
Very, very true, holding onto it does more long term harm than anything, best to get on with it, see where the dominoes fall and go from there.
You're confirming this is first person? Makes no difference to me, but it does help discussion if we're not "asking for a friend."

Congrats for coming out, I know it's extremely difficult.
It's something I've hidden and been in denial about my whole life, but three therapists, one psychiatrist, one endocrinologist and a general practitioner later...yeah...it's best to just be open about it. It's me, and I'm ready to move forward with this.
 
and you have us to support you.:)
And I completely appreciate that support, more than I'll ever have the words to accurately say. There have been a fair few negative reactions along the way, but predominantly it's been positive, and I am so thankful for that.
We all know PGen is the amazingest PGen on the whole of the internets, regardless of how your family react :hugs:
Aww, you always know how to make me feel amazing, @willowtigger :)
 
You make a valid point, I am doing a disservice to them by saying outright that they'll not accept anything. That's true. I know their viewpoints on this issue, so it's a easy to make the conclusion that they won't support it, but assuming without confirming is a disservice. Best to just go in and see.
They may well have firm viewpoints on the issue but it's unlikely they've ever considered family in that. It's always others, not our own kin.

Much easier to make assumptions about and to dehumanize strangers. Not so easy when it's your son/daughter/brother/sister.
 
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